April 2, 2019

Facebook doesn’t waste time, it wastes attention spans. That’s worse

By Daniel Van Boom

It’s a chilly winter night in Munich, Germany. I’m alone in an empty hostel dorm, basking in the warmth of the heater and the hostel’s surprising hygiene, trying to watch Mad Men on my MacBook. I say “trying” because this is proving to be a peculiarly difficult task. Watching 50-minute episodes of Mad Men is taking anywhere between one and a half to two hours because I keep getting distracted. I’ll just check Facebook. Maybe someone from home has messaged me. I should take a look at Twitter — oh, I forgot, Twitter is awful. You know what, I’m going to Instagram-stalk the hippie I met in Serbia. Ah, that’s right, I forgot to reply to that Facebook message from the other day. Some variation of these thoughts creeps into my brain every few minutes, glacializing my Mad Men progress. How will Don Draper’s story end? I suspect I’ll never know.